I really do look a lot like me, don't I? I feel like me, too. Like a day form werewolf, but stronger...
[He really has wound up comfortable in bodies that are this way, hasn't he? This isn't nearly as big an adjustment as a snake tail! And, it's alive...his heart is beating, his own heart, and that in itself is something to be glad about.
But, something about "even if you're a girl" doesn't fit quite right. Hearing himself described like that feels like trying on a shoe that's too tight. It doesn't make him mad or insecure to be called a girl, but it feels too narrow to describe how he feels right now.]
...I don't feel like this makes me a girl, though. Or, not just a girl, without being a guy at all, anymore.
How do I explain this...
...When I take a naga form, with my Fog power, I'm not a naga, not like Dr. McGucket is -- even if I like being a naga a lot. It's kind of like that!
[Feeling this out...it's interesting. Kind of trial and error. What feels accurate, what doesn't?]
I don't feel like a girl and not a guy like Cagliostro feels like a girl and not a guy. For her, she's not a guy at all, and doesn't want to be anything besides what she is now! But, for me...I like this form, but not enough to stay this way forever. It's not all of who I am.
It's funny...
[He muses thoughtfully, as he makes his way down the street.]
...I told Mukuro last Christmas, about how there was a kind of propaganda that suggested some gods and kings of Egypt were like men and women at the same time. They wanted qualities of both! That way, they could take credit for being Egypt's source of life and be powerful in war, like they could do it all...
[For power. For bonuses. Like him.]
It wasn't true, of course, their hips and bellies didn't actually look like that. But it's kind of funny, that it's ended up true, for me.
[He straightens, squaring his shoulders. That's the mall there, in the distance, and a change in subject from very imprecise attempts to describe a feeling he's having, that's unusual and doesn't fit a lot of "normal" boxes.]
We'll get some clothes for both of us that aren't optimized for bonuses, but are optimized to make us feel good in them! That's a kind of bonus, when you know you're wearing just the right outfit.
cw clumsy gender talk
[He really has wound up comfortable in bodies that are this way, hasn't he? This isn't nearly as big an adjustment as a snake tail! And, it's alive...his heart is beating, his own heart, and that in itself is something to be glad about.
But, something about "even if you're a girl" doesn't fit quite right. Hearing himself described like that feels like trying on a shoe that's too tight. It doesn't make him mad or insecure to be called a girl, but it feels too narrow to describe how he feels right now.]
...I don't feel like this makes me a girl, though. Or, not just a girl, without being a guy at all, anymore.
How do I explain this...
...When I take a naga form, with my Fog power, I'm not a naga, not like Dr. McGucket is -- even if I like being a naga a lot. It's kind of like that!
[Feeling this out...it's interesting. Kind of trial and error. What feels accurate, what doesn't?]
I don't feel like a girl and not a guy like Cagliostro feels like a girl and not a guy. For her, she's not a guy at all, and doesn't want to be anything besides what she is now! But, for me...I like this form, but not enough to stay this way forever. It's not all of who I am.
It's funny...
[He muses thoughtfully, as he makes his way down the street.]
...I told Mukuro last Christmas, about how there was a kind of propaganda that suggested some gods and kings of Egypt were like men and women at the same time. They wanted qualities of both! That way, they could take credit for being Egypt's source of life and be powerful in war, like they could do it all...
[For power. For bonuses. Like him.]
It wasn't true, of course, their hips and bellies didn't actually look like that. But it's kind of funny, that it's ended up true, for me.
[He straightens, squaring his shoulders. That's the mall there, in the distance, and a change in subject from very imprecise attempts to describe a feeling he's having, that's unusual and doesn't fit a lot of "normal" boxes.]
We'll get some clothes for both of us that aren't optimized for bonuses, but are optimized to make us feel good in them! That's a kind of bonus, when you know you're wearing just the right outfit.