Being helpless is a unique agony that is as dire as it is tedious. You watch, you listen, you wait. There is nothing else than to be pushed and pulled by the whims of others, to a fate you would never choose for yourself. It's not even necessarily safe, just safer.
Joining a battle is different. When you're inexperienced, you can be more hindrance than help, and she was never experienced enough to truly learn on what little time they had together in Italy. She imagines Nanami is the same, and Felfri presented a opportunity the way Ryslig itself does. Specifically, to give power to the powerless in the form of conditional changes offered by a god.
And she's torn, because on the other hand, the one that weighs most heavily...she wants to impress upon Nanami the importance of standing up for what's right but not at the cost of her safety. There has to be a happy medium somewhere. More than anything, she wants to soothe Nanami's pain, especially when the nymph cages herself behind the shield of her hands.
She leans to set aside her own mug of tea, then sits up straighter, mulling over her words.]
That's not quite what I meant. It's not about what's hard, but what's practical.
[She thinks about Bruno, cold and tactical in his decisions. She remembers how it made her angry.
She remembers how his choices were ultimately sound, were ultimately the ones that saved them. She remembers how an irrational, selfless decision got him killed.]
The worst thing you can do is put yourself in a position where you're a detriment to yourself and others. I genuinely believe the choice you made to stay safe afforded them the focus they needed in a way they couldn't have had if they'd split their attention between you and their goals.
[Hinata and Mukuro don't waste an ounce of energy on anything that isn't a goal. That's the impression she has of them. Tireless, focused. But if friends are at stake, she's found they share a lot in common with her own cadre of boys...
They'd do anything for each other. Absolutely anything.]
Helping people isn't always going to be glamorous, and it's not always going to feel good. If you're weighed down by guilt...it's because you're kind. You want to help your friends carry a heavy burden where you can.
But you shouldn't add to it either. Back home, I stayed out of the way when it was necessary, which was often seeing as I was a very newly awakened Stand user. I hated it, but I was more useful alive than dead.
[In a way, her death would've betrayed Bruno's goals. He fought hard to keep her alive, and doing anything less than living a full life would betray that sacrifice.]
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regna
me laughing writing this bc Nanami is super dead in her canon. dangans have many problems
Date: 2022-12-20 07:31 am (UTC)Being helpless is a unique agony that is as dire as it is tedious. You watch, you listen, you wait. There is nothing else than to be pushed and pulled by the whims of others, to a fate you would never choose for yourself. It's not even necessarily safe, just safer.
Joining a battle is different. When you're inexperienced, you can be more hindrance than help, and she was never experienced enough to truly learn on what little time they had together in Italy. She imagines Nanami is the same, and Felfri presented a opportunity the way Ryslig itself does. Specifically, to give power to the powerless in the form of conditional changes offered by a god.
And she's torn, because on the other hand, the one that weighs most heavily...she wants to impress upon Nanami the importance of standing up for what's right but not at the cost of her safety. There has to be a happy medium somewhere. More than anything, she wants to soothe Nanami's pain, especially when the nymph cages herself behind the shield of her hands.
She leans to set aside her own mug of tea, then sits up straighter, mulling over her words.]
That's not quite what I meant. It's not about what's hard, but what's practical.
[She thinks about Bruno, cold and tactical in his decisions. She remembers how it made her angry.
She remembers how his choices were ultimately sound, were ultimately the ones that saved them. She remembers how an irrational, selfless decision got him killed.]
The worst thing you can do is put yourself in a position where you're a detriment to yourself and others. I genuinely believe the choice you made to stay safe afforded them the focus they needed in a way they couldn't have had if they'd split their attention between you and their goals.
[Hinata and Mukuro don't waste an ounce of energy on anything that isn't a goal. That's the impression she has of them. Tireless, focused. But if friends are at stake, she's found they share a lot in common with her own cadre of boys...
They'd do anything for each other. Absolutely anything.]
Helping people isn't always going to be glamorous, and it's not always going to feel good. If you're weighed down by guilt...it's because you're kind. You want to help your friends carry a heavy burden where you can.
But you shouldn't add to it either. Back home, I stayed out of the way when it was necessary, which was often seeing as I was a very newly awakened Stand user. I hated it, but I was more useful alive than dead.
[In a way, her death would've betrayed Bruno's goals. He fought hard to keep her alive, and doing anything less than living a full life would betray that sacrifice.]