waitingforplayer2

[ Nanami at least drops her green hands to her knees, to listen, when Trish speaks. To really focus and try to turn these ideas over in her head.

She doesn't want to be a burden. She's so scared of it. But it's so hard to tell whether doing nothing, or doing something but badly, would be worse. ]

Maybe I have to... train or something... but I have this power, Trish-san, I can't just do nothing with it...

[ She rubs her eyes and takes another sip of her tea. Everything feels cloudy, and she's tired, still so drained from the events of the month. ]

How do you decide... when to do something? [ She finally looks up at Trish again, pulling the coat tighter around her. ] How do you know?

[But I have this power. I can't just do nothing with it...

Trish turns this statement over and over and over again in her mind, struck by it. By the pure intention in it, but also the concept of power and responsibility.

If you have power, is it your duty to use it? She wondered about that, considering she'd had a power since she was young that never would have manifested without the contact with other Stand users, the pressure of danger summoning every ounce of her will to the surface. She thinks about Spice Girl too, as she has so often since Felfri, and her Stand's firm resolve.

She thinks about Diavolo, and how different things would be if he had turned away from his own awakening to unspeakable power.

She thinks about Bruno having the power to change fate, and seeing that power bolstered by those around him until change was achieved. Painfully, not without sacrifice, but enough to budge an immovable stone in a way that would change everything for so many people.

Trish brings a hand to her lips, thoughtful.]

I'm not going to lie to you and say there's a shining moment of perfect clarity, where you look into yourself and see the right answer waiting like it'd been there all along. There's never going to be a time when you're absolutely sure that your choice is the right one. Not until it's over and done with.

What I do know is this: the word "choice" implies intent, sure, but when I say it I'm speaking more about making a decision when you hardly have time to make one. I like to think deeply about what it is I want to do, but too often the only thing that stands between yourself and certain death is the ability to decide how the encounter happens.

It's the breath of an instant, and maybe you choose wrong. But other times...you turn it into a dance. You find you're able to keep making decisions. You take risks, and you're rewarded for those risks. You learn how to push your advantage.

Sometimes, your decisions change the tide entirely in your favor.

So I'd say what you want isn't about power, not remotely. It's about presence of mind. That's far stronger and more useful to you than any scrap of power tossed to you by the fog.

Not to imply you shouldn't train your body and find your strengths. But when I look at you, I see someone not too different from myself. Neither of us are made to fight...but that doesn't exclude us from having to do so. That doesn't mean we should strive to become what we aren't, because we'll always fall short in some way.

No...what we ought to be is our best selves. Know yourself inside and out. Know your strengths. When you've got that, you'll find where you belong no matter the context. You'll start to make decisions that are right for you and everyone you care about.

[All of this is spoken softly, in a gentle, even cadence. One that sounds familiar, perhaps.

Trish tilts her head.]

Does that make sense, Nanami?

[ Nanami listens quietly, and takes it all in. Trish has a way with words; she makes gentle advice lyrical, like a song or a poem - and it leads to a place that feels obvious; somewhere that Nanami should have thought of herself.

It's like the saying goes on airplanes - you have to put your own mask on before helping the person next to you. It's a saying Nanami never really understood, but now she's beginning to grasp it. Know yourself, and the rest comes easily.

She lets the coat fall where she's sitting, and scooches over to be closer to Trish; then wraps her woodening arms around the mostly-not-werebear herself. ]

Thank you. I hadn't really-- I-- yeah. You're right. I need to-- figure that out, first. Me. And then-- and then the rest.

[ She sniffs a bit, and then laughs. ] I mean-- I mean, the most powerful I've felt so far, was in the wasteland, or in the Reaper's Game, when I'd been one thing for a little while... so... I guess it doesn't really make sense to train if I'm going to be changing so often, huh?

Edited 2022-12-27 10:32 (UTC)

[Trish waits for Nanami's answer, and sees it written in the way Nanami moves, and she's not surprised this time when Nanami hugs her. Actions are always going to supersede words, Trish thinks, and for every pretty word she can say, Nanami can say it better and more succinctly, just like this.

She's quiet, then, moving gently from under the boughs of Nanami's embrace to drape an arm around the nymph.

But when Nanami does speak, she sounds so much lighter, and she touches on a good point Trish neglected to mention. Enough the not-so-werebear shakes with a small laugh herself.]

No, it certainly doesn't. I know you try to put your all into everything you do, Nanami, but for this one...just enjoy the process of discovery.

Enjoy being you.

[Not that this solves the absence of Nanami's friends...but hopefully she can greet them with her shoulders feeling a fraction lighter.

Because really, Trish gets it. Finding a niche is hard. Not knowing what your role is, it's isolating and frustrating. It makes all actions uncertain and lonely and contentious. That's when you find out who you are and what you want and you make that space for yourself. Libeccio is a monument to this belief for her part.

What will Nanami build?]

I can try. ... I want to.

[ She rubs at her eyes, a bit more sunken into her face than they usually are - before long they'll be hollow in the bark of her face, again. ]

I want you to enjoy that too. I'm so glad that-- that you got to use your skinchanger ability...

[ She squeezes Trish tight before unwrapping from her friend and scooching back over to where she left Trish's fur. Holds it up, marveling again at how soft and warm it is. ]

I think it'll help you... feel more like yourself... I know that's hard for you, sometimes...

[Trish can't deny a small part of her felt compelled to keep an eye on her coat. It's not like it could get up and walk away, and she feels safe with Nanami.

But this place is unfamiliar, with equally unfamiliar smells.

She's pulled out of that reverie when Nanami squeezes her, and Trish lets a hand trail from Nanami's back, and along her elbow, until the nymph is back in her spot on the other side of the couch.

As for what she says...it's true, but it's always more complicated than that. It does help to enjoy something closer to her proper body though, instead of the façade crafted for her by the fog. It's the closest to correct she can be when it comes to refusing to let Ryslig set a proper foot in her heart.]

Mm. Being able to stay out of the bear body for a little while, especially whenever I choose...it's nice.

[It's freeing, in more ways than she can express.

Trish settles comfortably against the couch.]

That being said...I think you have the capacity to be more comfortable with yourself than I do even with this ability.

I'm curious to see where you end up. I'm excited to meet the you that you've got the potential to be.

[ She's incredibly touched by that, so much that it causes a laugh to escape her.

Trish always knows what to say to lift her up. She's deeply thoughtful; one of the most supportive friends that Nanami has, which is saying something. ]

Me too... I don't really know who that is yet, but... I want to find out. [ Her eyes practically glow - not quite like they did in Felfri, but there's an excited light in them. ] I want to figure out which self to be... there's just so many more options than I thought there would be!

[ An echo to conversations she's had on the network under an anonymous handle - but it's Trish, so it's not really a big deal to say that sort of thing, right? ]

[In a stunning sense of total contradiction, Trish herself perceives discomfort and unhappiness with her station and form as motivation to hold tight to her humanity with her very jaws if she's got to, as if becoming the least bit content will drain whatever resistance she has to the fog's whims.

But her friends deserve to be happy. Seeing Nanami miserable and leaving her like that is unconscionable. Listening to her laugh and seeing her smile even with the very real concerns she's had...it makes her feel light. Maybe even lighter than she does when she first doffs her skin for the night.

As for what Nanami says, it's...weirdly familiar, but Trish doesn't dwell on it. She did open this avenue of conversation, and she'll shake her head lightly. Not in disagreement, but rather a fondly helpless gesture.]

It'll seem like that. But it's like I said – you'll find your decisions will carry you in a specific direction.

So who you are to yourself, it ought to become clearer and clearer with time. I believe that wholeheartedly.

[Trish reaches for her mug of tea again, settling back and looking every part the picture of laziness. Join her in being a slug, Nanami.]

But don't worry about any of that right now. What you should do now is rest.

[ Eventually she will join you in being a slug, Trish - more literally than either of them expect.

But for now, Nanami nods, leans back, sips her tea sleepily. It's been a long day (a long month); and this has been a long and emotionally draining conversation - but also a refreshing one, and Nanami needed to talk out a lot of this. ]

I can do that... I think. Thank you... [ She rubs her eyes. ] Maybe I'll finish changing tonight... do you wanna stay over? There's games and television... [ Just how nocturnal ARE you, miss pink werebear? ]

[Not only will she be a slug, she'll look like an ASMR slime!

Anyways, Trish feels lighter herself watching Nanami settle back comfortably. If she doesn't do anything to stop Trish, the skin-changed werebear will reach to toss her coat across Nanami's waist. Be cozy, friend.

That's partly an answer in and of itself, but Trish adds, mid-fling:]

Of course I want to. The whole reason I came was to spend time with you.

[Leaving after one conversation is silly! Although she wasn't going to presume she could stay, so the invitation is grabbed by two eager hands.

And Trish is in fact very nocturnal, and usually malingers around with Fugo or Abbacchio in the dead of night, when everyone else is asleep and the television selection is even worse than usual. But that hardly matters when she's not alone.

Nanami isn't alone here to begin with, but Trish knows different people do different things for one another. Whatever niche she fills for Nanami...she hopes it's just the one the nymph needed tonight.

With all that said and done, Trish will then reach to pull a blanket thrown over the back of the couch to and over herself, looking every bit the lazy bear somehow when she settles back, even when she's only got the barest facial fur, her tiny fangs poking out with her conspiratorial smile.]

As long as your housemates don't mind a surprise bear in the morning. I'll change back before the night is over, after all.

I don't think they'll mind. They're pretty friendly, and we're all monsters.

[ "Pretty friendly" is a bit of an understatement, really. To Nanami, this house is starting to feel like home; and its inhabitants are starting to feel like family.

Trish herself kind of does, too.

Nanami flips on the television, and then reaches for her console, discarded where she left it when Trish first arrived. Scooches over next to Trish so Trish can have a turn if she wants, or just look over her shoulder. ]

Did I show you Gala Omega before?... [ That day when Nanami first turned into a tree, they'd gone to the arcade - but Nanami's home collection isn't something she's had time to show her friend. ]

[Trish accepts Nanami's assessment, although she doesn't entirely believe it. There's no way anyone can anticipate just how fucking big a werebear is, and she's sure someone will be surprised. Maybe not everyone, but someone.

But if Nanami is resting comfortably with her...yeah, okay, no, all possible intimidation is gone. This is her reminder that she is – if not an ominous presence when puttering around as an unknown entity – an otherwise cuddly bear. Ptooie.

Trish glances down when the nymph is shoulder to shoulder with her, first at the top of Nanami's head, then to the console in her hands. She squints at the screen and the name, but neither of them conjure any strong memory. She did like the dancing game, so she remembers that, but "Gala Omega" sounds like a different genre entirely.]

No, I don't think you have. I'm going to assume the "gala" in the title isn't referring to a fancy party.

[No dresses or mingling, alas.

Almost certainly explosions though. Video games seem to love blowing stuff the fuck up if they aren't plastering numbers on the screen and shouting about how well or poorly you're doing.]

No no - Gala Omega is the name of the ship!

[ And she'll turn the console towards Trish, explaining how the game works and how she follows the patterns - getting a perfect score every round.

She explains, too, how she's played it thru hundreds of times, sometimes many times in a row, and it's the best game she knows - basically, Trish gets the entire hyperfocus infodump.

After all, it's Nanami's favorite game, enough that no matter what form she's in, she still wears the ship as a hairpin - her friend deserves to know every detail! ]

I see. I'll have to remember that.

[Gala Omega.

It's important to Nanami, and even if Trish will feel the explanation of the game's mechanics slip away – not unlike fine sand between her fingers – what remains is Nanami's pure, exuberant love for the game itself.

And that?

That's something she can understand.

It's nice to listen to her friend's excitement. It's nice to see Nanami's hand go through delighted, practiced motions. It's nice to sit here and share in Nanami's experience, and feel the nearly-nymph list and sway in her spot and confirm with every movement that she's here, and still the same as she always is.

If she weren't stubborn, and if it weren't Nanami...she could drift away to a comfortable sleep from the calm atmosphere, frankly. Lord knows she doesn't get enough sleep.

But for Nanami, she'll stay awake.

For Nanami, she'll listen the whole night to anything and everything the other girl wants to talk about.

If it makes her happy, it's worth it. If it helps her, it's worth it.]

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pinch with the hot dangan takes of 2022, next up: murder games bad, probably

murder games good, actually >:0

PINCH IS JUNKO CONFIRMED?!??!?!

IM NOT COOL OR UNHINGED ENOUGH

(x)

smh

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wraps this <33