[ Something's changed in her. She's shaking like a leaf - the shivering she'd been slowly learning to hold off over the last few days has returned in full force, uncontrollable and overwhelming. She can't take back the things she's said, she can't stem the swell of emotions now that the door has been opened. She can't not feel how she does, about the mastermind, about the school, about herself, about all of it.
She'd been waiting for weeks for the fog to change her, but she didn't need to wait. She's changed all on her own.
And then there's a soft hand on her shoulder, and tendrils too, and she finally looks up, her face stained with tears, and he's there, looking at her with concern, and he doesn't-- he doesn't hate her. He doesn't look at her with disgust.
His words are actually incredibly soothing. Before she knows it, listening to him, she's breathing easier again, her shaking is slowing. ]
I-it's-- wrong. ... of me. [ She stares into her coffee again, unseeingly. ] I-- shouldn't, feel-- this way.
[ She doesn't want to judge anyone else, not when she can't really know their pain, only guess and empathize with it as best she can. Hinata doesn't deserve her judgement (even if she was inclined to do so), but neither does the mastermind-- neither does Hope's Peak-- everybody was just trying their best, right? ]
Nobody... deserves to die... those feelings are, I-- need to be... better.
[ Does she even believe that, or is it just what she's been told? If she answers that, won't that just make her even more of the monster she's already becoming? ]
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regna
cw: internalized victim-blaming, dissociation
Date: 2022-04-30 05:17 am (UTC)She'd been waiting for weeks for the fog to change her, but she didn't need to wait. She's changed all on her own.
And then there's a soft hand on her shoulder, and tendrils too, and she finally looks up, her face stained with tears, and he's there, looking at her with concern, and he doesn't-- he doesn't hate her. He doesn't look at her with disgust.
His words are actually incredibly soothing. Before she knows it, listening to him, she's breathing easier again, her shaking is slowing. ]
I-it's-- wrong. ... of me. [ She stares into her coffee again, unseeingly. ] I-- shouldn't, feel-- this way.
[ She doesn't want to judge anyone else, not when she can't really know their pain, only guess and empathize with it as best she can. Hinata doesn't deserve her judgement (even if she was inclined to do so), but neither does the mastermind-- neither does Hope's Peak-- everybody was just trying their best, right? ]
Nobody... deserves to die... those feelings are, I-- need to be... better.
[ Does she even believe that, or is it just what she's been told? If she answers that, won't that just make her even more of the monster she's already becoming? ]