[He doesn't fight her off, doesn't resist, but doesn't hug back, yet, either. He's dead weight, slumped on the floor.]
But what good is it, to be powerful and prepared, when --
[His voice rises, in volume and pitch.]
-- when it can all be taken away at any time? Even if it doesn't make sense, or shouldn't be gone...there's no use sacrificing for the power to protect yourself if it can't be counted on!
I can't keep trying, Nanami! If that's how it is, then I can't keep risking and trading and destroying the things I care about, to try to keep him safe! And I can't --
[Here, there's a break in his voice, a catch in his breath.]
Every time I try to help, I...I just make it worse.
[The broadcast...it led to Ryou throwing himself to the wolves on the network, and nearly to AM, if Atem hadn't caught him. In September, trying to prepare for Ryou's revival had just led to terrible suffering. And, now, the friends who had helped with AM...they'll go through what Ryou did.
He feels so helpless...and so scared.]
I can't. I can't just watch. It hurts too much. But I can't help prevent it, either...or even make it less bad. It's like you said.
Bad things will always happen. It's just going to happen again, and again, and again -- !
[And, if there's no way to so much as mitigate that...if the entity playing opposite them, if Ryslig, is going to trick Atem into setting his friendships on fire for power and then take that power away whenever it pleases, then...
...why should he keep playing? Why should he follow their rules, and let them hurt him over and over and over?
The game isn't just rigged. There might be no rules at all -- just an illusion of them, to make him think he has a chance. And, if that's the case...if they're all trapped, struggling, in that web, where fighting it only tangles you tighter...
...if there's no holding onto anything good, if he's been tricked and used and the only future is watching his friends suffer, too, then....
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
regna
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-16 01:47 pm (UTC)But what good is it, to be powerful and prepared, when --
[His voice rises, in volume and pitch.]
-- when it can all be taken away at any time? Even if it doesn't make sense, or shouldn't be gone...there's no use sacrificing for the power to protect yourself if it can't be counted on!
I can't keep trying, Nanami! If that's how it is, then I can't keep risking and trading and destroying the things I care about, to try to keep him safe! And I can't --
[Here, there's a break in his voice, a catch in his breath.]
Every time I try to help, I...I just make it worse.
[The broadcast...it led to Ryou throwing himself to the wolves on the network, and nearly to AM, if Atem hadn't caught him. In September, trying to prepare for Ryou's revival had just led to terrible suffering. And, now, the friends who had helped with AM...they'll go through what Ryou did.
He feels so helpless...and so scared.]
I can't. I can't just watch. It hurts too much. But I can't help prevent it, either...or even make it less bad. It's like you said.
Bad things will always happen. It's just going to happen again, and again, and again -- !
[And, if there's no way to so much as mitigate that...if the entity playing opposite them, if Ryslig, is going to trick Atem into setting his friendships on fire for power and then take that power away whenever it pleases, then...
...why should he keep playing? Why should he follow their rules, and let them hurt him over and over and over?
The game isn't just rigged. There might be no rules at all -- just an illusion of them, to make him think he has a chance. And, if that's the case...if they're all trapped, struggling, in that web, where fighting it only tangles you tighter...
...if there's no holding onto anything good, if he's been tricked and used and the only future is watching his friends suffer, too, then....
...then, he's taking the whole thing down.]