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waitingforplayer2
WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, CHIAKI NANAMI.
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<galagamer> This is Chiaki Nanami.
<galagamer> I'll get back to you as soon as I can!
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<galagamer> This is Chiaki Nanami.
<galagamer> I'll get back to you as soon as I can!
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-04 07:24 am (UTC)[ While Trish works, Nanami rests on the counter near her, watching her work. It occurs to her to glance at the bag Trish brought with her - she thought she smelled something sweet from it, but isn't sure whether she should assume it needs to be unpacked or not. ]
That's like... it lasts you an hour, right? [ Just gonna gently touch Trish's coat. It's not Trish's fur so it's not weird. The coat is silky soft and very poofy. It seems comfortable. ]
It's too bad it wouldn't turn me into a bear if I put it on...
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-04 07:47 am (UTC)[Trish replies as she sets to steeping the tea.
Here she is making gross jokes when Nanami is being as sweet as can be. Or maybe she's simply that unflappable in the face of gore jokes when they live as monsters now. Either way, Trish let's the comparison to the Sanrio bear go without shrugging it off this time.
They can enjoy the snack bag she brought once the tea is ready; in the meantime, Nanami makes an interesting comment, and Trish hums, watching Nanami's hand draw a trail in the fluffy fur of her coat.]
Are you sure about that, Nanami? I've never heard of another monster trying on a werebear's coat.
You might be the first.
[She would understand if the idea is unappealing too.
Imagine wearing a part of someone you know. That's inherently weird.]
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-04 07:59 am (UTC)I don't think it would work... it's only a power that werebears have...
[ But she's not sure... and surely the only way to try it would be science, right?
... Is it gauche to ask your friend if you can try on her skin. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-05 09:31 am (UTC)Also, if it's gauche to ask, it's probably weirder to offer.
But it's also a sign of trust. After Lusamine's poor fate of losing her coat, Trish is aware that could happen, but she can't remotely imagine Nanami doing anything to hurt her in any way. Not purposefully. Besides, they're indoors. There's not a lot of places a big, bulky coat can disappear into, not in a house this small. The palazzo would be a different story.
Trish finishes up with the tea, stirring honey into both mugs with a hum.]
Maybe so...but it's magic, and magic is mutable. For every rule there is an exception.
[She sets the spoon down with a clink, pushing a mug towards her leafy friend.
Trish continues:]
Let's head back to the living room. I think sitting somewhere warm will do us both good while we experiment.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-06 08:26 am (UTC)[ Magic never does feel like it's fully explained, does it? After all, the Guide she loves so much -well, its information is only partly right, because the Fog's magic produces such variation in all of Her monsters. Nanami's experiences there never seem to quite line up with what Spengler predicted.
She takes her mug and thoughtfully looks into it as they move back into the living room. What if there's countless tricks to being a monster that none of them have figured out yet, just because they haven't tried the right thing?
Well, in any case, now she's actually kind of hoping the trick they're about to try works.
She sets her mug down on the little table in the living room, and then turns to Trish. The ceiling here is a bit higher than in the kitchen, at least. ] Okay! May I see your coat?
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-07 08:23 am (UTC)After all, between Sex Pistols being a group of sentient bullets that have salami for lunch whenever they want, Gold Experience turning pens into eyeballs, and non-sapient animals having Stands, it turns into a mess of possibilities and unique situations with rules as flexible as her own power. All this to say she isn't thinking about practical experimentation of monster forms and abilities the way Nanami is, but that speaks to their different minds.
Trish sets her mug down as well, slipping her coat off and instead of answering, she flicks said coat over Nanami's head to drape it around her small shoulders. It's much warmer on the inside than it was on the outside!]
Just be careful not to drag it on the floor.
[She'll let Nanami get comfortable with it from there. The nymph can keep it around her shoulders or put it on properly. Whatever she'd like.
For her part, Trish will settle onto the couch, mindful of Nanami's things. She waits a moment, raising a brow as she appraises the newly furred nymph.]
Feel any different?
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-08 09:07 am (UTC)Look, Trish has a bigger build than her. It's fine.
She wraps the fur around her, putting her arms through the armholes. Maybe it only works once it's on correctly?... Trish was wearing it a little low before.
She waits for several long moments for the magic to work. ]
... Warm. [ Slight disappointment. She presses her fingers against the fur again, as if that'll do anything; it does not. ] I guess it's just for you...
[ Ah well, that makes sense. But it would have been nice if Nanami was wrong.
She settles down on the couch with Trish, still wearing the coat. Being such a brightly colored pink companion to Trish makes her think of Spice Girl; and the fur makes her as soft as Spice's power, too. ]
Spice-san... she didn't come back with you, did she? [ They only met briefly, but Nanami finds her missing the stand. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-09 07:04 am (UTC)Anyways, the whole point was to get Nanami warm and comfortable, so even if they haven't made her a bear in a single instance of experimentation, Trish thinks this is better anyway. Nanami would probably enjoy being a bear, actually...but that's for another day, should Nanami wish to experiment. Still, it's a little sad to see her disappointed? Nanami always has a capacity for wonder about even the strangest things.
It's sweet.]
It was worth a try.
[Trish says, gentle, while Nanami settles in. She's keeping the coat, so she must at least enjoy that.
And then the nymph says that, and Trish makes a soft noise of surprise. It still catches her off-guard to have the capacity to be missed by other people, and she never imagined the same for her Stand. Spice Girl was an anomaly for the eyes of so few until Felfri, you know?
Spice-san...Miss Spice. That nearly makes Trish smile.
She leans to pick up her mug, taking in a long, soothing sip. It's nice against the rawness of her throat. Only after does she answer, mug held securely between two hands adorned with a dense collection of fur along the backs of them that trail down her forearms.]
...No, and yes. Spice Girl as you met her isn't able to manifest anymore. But if you'll remember, she's the shape of my soul, power and all.
In a sense, she's always here.
[I am you.
She'd said that, but even Nanami can tell the difference. What does it mean when a Stand can, well, stand on their own as a separate entity? With what she'd learned about Doppio and Diavolo, what does it say that she has another mind separate from her own?]
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-09 07:20 am (UTC)[ Nanami stares into her tea. The heat from the mug and from the jacket is all warm and cozy; maybe when she changes fully back, this sort of thing won't be as good for her wooden body. It's a little sad to think about.
And so is the absence of Trish's stand, as Nanami sips from her own mug and lets the honeyed tea that Trish carefully made soothe her throat. ]
It's still too bad... that she can't be here. It's like being without a friend...
[ Spice was nice to talk to. And she saw the easy friendship that she and Trish had, talking together. Certainly Trish seems to have more affection for her overall than Abbacchio did with Moody. ]
I hope you can see her again someday. [ It must be possible, right? Hopefully? She gives Trish a gentle smile before taking another sip. ] And I'm really glad I could meet her.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-10 09:07 am (UTC)Fur makes fur coats redundant, for example, which makes her glad her fur mostly vanishes when she doffs her skin and negates that problem for at least some portion of the day.
It makes her angry, as always, but Nanami manages to make her feel lighter. She's gentle in her words and sweet to regard Spice Girl so fondly for how little time she got to know the Stand. After months of being unable to both here and back home, it was nice to share in the marvel of it all.
Trish hums, a grumbly timber. Not intentionally so, but her throat makes her sound more like her monster than she ever has, really.]
You're right, it's not the same. I like to think that the moment we find a way to free our powers from the constraints put on us...she'll appear when I call.
She always had, even before I knew she was there.
[Felfri was unusual in every regard. Spice is practical to a fault, and really only appeared unprompted because of the huge, unprecedented gap in her understanding between when she was last conscious and then. After all, she said it herself: she'd been at Trish's side since Trish was little. It's weird to think about, that she had a constant companion she could neither see nor hear until meeting other Stand users prompted her own untapped potential to fully awaken.
It must've been lonely. Is the way she feels now the way Spice felt, or was Spice simply content to be there for her in the tiny capacity she could? Trish takes another thoughtful sip of her tea.]
Regardless, I'm not too worried. She's safe with me, so I'd rather focus on the friends I've got who aren't literally a part of my heart...like you.
It's why I came to see you. I won't lie and say I wasn't worried sick over everyone left behind in Felfri. So I'm happy to see you with my own eyes.
Thank you for the peace of mind, Nanami.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-13 10:22 am (UTC)But she's struggled with that, as a nymph. Maybe because her nymph form keeps changing and morphing almost every month, but that can't be the only reason; even in the intervening weeks between changes, she's found it hard to grow comfortable with her form.
It can't be helped, she supposes - except that it can; and Felfri, among many other things, was a reminder of that. Already ideas are starting to form in the gamer's head. ]
I've had a thought about that... [ She's murmuring it quietly enough that Trish might miss it, especially since it's followed by a few more hacking coughs.
The other part of the conversation, though, makes her feel warm. She feels almost too flustered to look at her friend, so instead she sips into her tea, letting the emotion hit her. ]
Th-thank you too... I've been so so worried about everyone...
You know they're not all back yet? Hinata-kun and Okami-san... I've been... checking the apartments for them, but...
[ She shakes her head. ] I just want everybody to be safe... [ Or at least, the Ryslig facsimile of it. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-15 08:03 am (UTC)[Trish starts, but then Nanami is coughing, and she can't do anything for the nymph, but she does wince sympathetically. Nothing escapes werebear ears.
Nanami keeps her gaze down, though, and Trish peers down at her own cup, idly swirling the tea therein.
She remembers what Hinata said, although she's surprised that he didn't come stumbling out soon after her boys did. What is he doing, she wonders? Nanami supplies a new name too, but the blending of Ryslig's magic and the meaning of the word is not lost on her. They don't have very many mutual wolf friends!
And the last she saw of Mukuro, well...she was in that video, so she rallied herself back around to her usual level of function.
Trish shakes her head, almost defiantly.]
I'm sure they're fine. Hinata promised me he would come back in one piece, and I'm holding him to it. And if she's with him, there's not much that could trouble them.
[Hinata is a surprisingly vicious fighter. He'd proved it once before, but Felfri only solidified that reality.
Mukuro, meanwhile, is unparalleled. A soldier by trade doesn't lose easily. Even if all it takes is one bad situation, she believes in them.
A thought occurs to Trish.]
But since they're gone, you came here. Am I right?
(no subject)
Date: 2022-11-15 10:12 am (UTC)[ She settles into the coat. It's warm and makes her a little sleepy. But maybe that's just the coziness of the situation.
Still, talking about her friends makes her a little uneasy - for several reasons. ] I hope you're right... enough of us died over there.
... I came back with Shoka-chan, and got sick pretty quickly afterwards... so I've been staying here. It's... easier than being alone in the apartment.
[ She puts her cup down, and hugs her legs close. Soon enough they won't be legs at all - maybe another day before their splitting goes thru its last stages, and she'll have her roots again. Her roots that should be natural to her by now, but which she's going to have to learn to use again. ]
I'm worried... I think I really messed up in Felfri... I don't know if they'll be able to look at me the same way...
(no subject)
Date: 2022-12-13 06:34 am (UTC)She's right, too, and it reminds Trish of all the death and fear they endured at the wastes, and how Felfri pretended to be different until it got bored of pretending. But it was different, because in the wastes it was easy to band together. There was a common enemy somewhere, whether it be the monstrosities lurking about or the sheer lack of shelter and food.
Felfri presented choices.
It must be why Nanami says such a thing, and Trish takes a sip of her tea, considering the words she wants to say. But she doesn't know if Nanami is talking about the obvious, or something else, and thus it's worth asking after details.
Assuming Nanami wants to give them, of course.]
...You say that like you've done something unforgivable.
[She regards Nanami with gentle green eyes.]
I noticed you're harder on yourself than you are on anyone else. Knowing those two...I'd be shocked if they were upset with you. Mukuro isn't the type to shy away if you reach out to her, even if she were upset.
[She'd at least let there be some words about it. Trish knows that well.]
(no subject)
Date: 2022-12-13 09:34 am (UTC)I want to talk with them... I don't want to lose them, or anything...
But I just think... I guess... that I could have made better choices...
[ She stares into her tea. ] I got everyone in trouble... after the concert... and then I didn't help like I could have... I stayed with the police state...
I should have... fought back more... instead of just waiting... I know that now, though...
(no subject)
Date: 2022-12-14 08:34 am (UTC)Nanami's fears are understandable. She doesn't seem like the type to fight with her friends much, certainly not in the knock down-drag out way Trish herself has engaged in more than a few times in the past. Indeed, Trish can hardly imagine Nanami raising her voice at any person, no matter how much they browbeat her. Soft, gentle Nanami...
Of course she'd only turn in on herself, attacking the one person who won't fight back. The one person who she feels is responsible for any bad feelings between her and her friends. But it's always more complicated than that, just like being friends with someone like Mukuro can be complicated for some and very simple for others.
That being said, she does have strong feelings about the idea of "fighting back". She has no illusions her fate played out the way it did because she was given the means to fight, that not using those means would be a betrayal of what others had given up for her. But Nanami...
Really, Nanami is the normal girl Trish used to be, and she immediately feels protective of that. Once you lose that...there's not really any going back. She could tell the marks left on her by her own experience pained Bruno deeply.
Trish. You'ved faced more demons than you should have.]
Nanami, not everyone is meant to fight. We all have a role, and if everyone was tossed to the front lines, where would that leave us, really?
[Trish taps her claws on her mug. She says this, but she knows the agony of feeling helpless.
She fought that in little ways, contributing her thoughts where she could, watching over Narancia the rest of the time, especially with how often he was injured...Nanami contributed to Felfri in her own ways, didn't she?]
...I would never resent you for prioritizing your safety over participating in a battle you couldn't possibly win.
I doubt those two would either. If they expressed any anger towards you, you have to ask yourself where that anger came from. I'm sure the answer isn't as straightforward as you believe it to be.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-12-16 10:09 am (UTC)[ She sets her tea down before she accidentally spills it in her distress. Grips her knobbly knees, half-wooden and so close to reverting fully back into their complicated root system. Frustrating to deal with, but at least more complete than the half-changes of the fog caves. ]
Just because it was hard doesn't mean I couldn't have done it. The caves... s-sucked, but... th-that doesn't mean I couldn't have gone back. And I should have. I could have helped, somehow...
[ She buries her face in her hands, miserably. She doesn't even know that her friends are upset with her; but she sees what they've done, and she sees just how far she's come short of what she holds dear - the ability to protect as many of the people that she cares about as she can. No, instead she sat by and waited, and it's eating her up inside. ]
me laughing writing this bc Nanami is super dead in her canon. dangans have many problems
Date: 2022-12-20 07:31 am (UTC)Being helpless is a unique agony that is as dire as it is tedious. You watch, you listen, you wait. There is nothing else than to be pushed and pulled by the whims of others, to a fate you would never choose for yourself. It's not even necessarily safe, just safer.
Joining a battle is different. When you're inexperienced, you can be more hindrance than help, and she was never experienced enough to truly learn on what little time they had together in Italy. She imagines Nanami is the same, and Felfri presented a opportunity the way Ryslig itself does. Specifically, to give power to the powerless in the form of conditional changes offered by a god.
And she's torn, because on the other hand, the one that weighs most heavily...she wants to impress upon Nanami the importance of standing up for what's right but not at the cost of her safety. There has to be a happy medium somewhere. More than anything, she wants to soothe Nanami's pain, especially when the nymph cages herself behind the shield of her hands.
She leans to set aside her own mug of tea, then sits up straighter, mulling over her words.]
That's not quite what I meant. It's not about what's hard, but what's practical.
[She thinks about Bruno, cold and tactical in his decisions. She remembers how it made her angry.
She remembers how his choices were ultimately sound, were ultimately the ones that saved them. She remembers how an irrational, selfless decision got him killed.]
The worst thing you can do is put yourself in a position where you're a detriment to yourself and others. I genuinely believe the choice you made to stay safe afforded them the focus they needed in a way they couldn't have had if they'd split their attention between you and their goals.
[Hinata and Mukuro don't waste an ounce of energy on anything that isn't a goal. That's the impression she has of them. Tireless, focused. But if friends are at stake, she's found they share a lot in common with her own cadre of boys...
They'd do anything for each other. Absolutely anything.]
Helping people isn't always going to be glamorous, and it's not always going to feel good. If you're weighed down by guilt...it's because you're kind. You want to help your friends carry a heavy burden where you can.
But you shouldn't add to it either. Back home, I stayed out of the way when it was necessary, which was often seeing as I was a very newly awakened Stand user. I hated it, but I was more useful alive than dead.
[In a way, her death would've betrayed Bruno's goals. He fought hard to keep her alive, and doing anything less than living a full life would betray that sacrifice.]
pinch with the hot dangan takes of 2022, next up: murder games bad, probably
Date: 2022-12-26 10:21 am (UTC)She doesn't want to be a burden. She's so scared of it. But it's so hard to tell whether doing nothing, or doing something but badly, would be worse. ]
Maybe I have to... train or something... but I have this power, Trish-san, I can't just do nothing with it...
[ She rubs her eyes and takes another sip of her tea. Everything feels cloudy, and she's tired, still so drained from the events of the month. ]
How do you decide... when to do something? [ She finally looks up at Trish again, pulling the coat tighter around her. ] How do you know?
murder games good, actually >:0
Date: 2022-12-27 09:28 am (UTC)Trish turns this statement over and over and over again in her mind, struck by it. By the pure intention in it, but also the concept of power and responsibility.
If you have power, is it your duty to use it? She wondered about that, considering she'd had a power since she was young that never would have manifested without the contact with other Stand users, the pressure of danger summoning every ounce of her will to the surface. She thinks about Spice Girl too, as she has so often since Felfri, and her Stand's firm resolve.
She thinks about Diavolo, and how different things would be if he had turned away from his own awakening to unspeakable power.
She thinks about Bruno having the power to change fate, and seeing that power bolstered by those around him until change was achieved. Painfully, not without sacrifice, but enough to budge an immovable stone in a way that would change everything for so many people.
Trish brings a hand to her lips, thoughtful.]
I'm not going to lie to you and say there's a shining moment of perfect clarity, where you look into yourself and see the right answer waiting like it'd been there all along. There's never going to be a time when you're absolutely sure that your choice is the right one. Not until it's over and done with.
What I do know is this: the word "choice" implies intent, sure, but when I say it I'm speaking more about making a decision when you hardly have time to make one. I like to think deeply about what it is I want to do, but too often the only thing that stands between yourself and certain death is the ability to decide how the encounter happens.
It's the breath of an instant, and maybe you choose wrong. But other times...you turn it into a dance. You find you're able to keep making decisions. You take risks, and you're rewarded for those risks. You learn how to push your advantage.
Sometimes, your decisions change the tide entirely in your favor.
So I'd say what you want isn't about power, not remotely. It's about presence of mind. That's far stronger and more useful to you than any scrap of power tossed to you by the fog.
Not to imply you shouldn't train your body and find your strengths. But when I look at you, I see someone not too different from myself. Neither of us are made to fight...but that doesn't exclude us from having to do so. That doesn't mean we should strive to become what we aren't, because we'll always fall short in some way.
No...what we ought to be is our best selves. Know yourself inside and out. Know your strengths. When you've got that, you'll find where you belong no matter the context. You'll start to make decisions that are right for you and everyone you care about.
[All of this is spoken softly, in a gentle, even cadence. One that sounds familiar, perhaps.
Trish tilts her head.]
Does that make sense, Nanami?
PINCH IS JUNKO CONFIRMED?!??!?!
Date: 2022-12-27 10:31 am (UTC)It's like the saying goes on airplanes - you have to put your own mask on before helping the person next to you. It's a saying Nanami never really understood, but now she's beginning to grasp it. Know yourself, and the rest comes easily.
She lets the coat fall where she's sitting, and scooches over to be closer to Trish; then wraps her woodening arms around the mostly-not-werebear herself. ]
Thank you. I hadn't really-- I-- yeah. You're right. I need to-- figure that out, first. Me. And then-- and then the rest.
[ She sniffs a bit, and then laughs. ] I mean-- I mean, the most powerful I've felt so far, was in the wasteland, or in the Reaper's Game, when I'd been one thing for a little while... so... I guess it doesn't really make sense to train if I'm going to be changing so often, huh?
IM NOT COOL OR UNHINGED ENOUGH
Date: 2022-12-29 08:51 am (UTC)She's quiet, then, moving gently from under the boughs of Nanami's embrace to drape an arm around the nymph.
But when Nanami does speak, she sounds so much lighter, and she touches on a good point Trish neglected to mention. Enough the not-so-werebear shakes with a small laugh herself.]
No, it certainly doesn't. I know you try to put your all into everything you do, Nanami, but for this one...just enjoy the process of discovery.
Enjoy being you.
[Not that this solves the absence of Nanami's friends...but hopefully she can greet them with her shoulders feeling a fraction lighter.
Because really, Trish gets it. Finding a niche is hard. Not knowing what your role is, it's isolating and frustrating. It makes all actions uncertain and lonely and contentious. That's when you find out who you are and what you want and you make that space for yourself. Libeccio is a monument to this belief for her part.
What will Nanami build?]
(x)
Date: 2023-01-01 05:34 am (UTC)[ She rubs at her eyes, a bit more sunken into her face than they usually are - before long they'll be hollow in the bark of her face, again. ]
I want you to enjoy that too. I'm so glad that-- that you got to use your skinchanger ability...
[ She squeezes Trish tight before unwrapping from her friend and scooching back over to where she left Trish's fur. Holds it up, marveling again at how soft and warm it is. ]
I think it'll help you... feel more like yourself... I know that's hard for you, sometimes...
smh
Date: 2023-01-06 09:07 am (UTC)But this place is unfamiliar, with equally unfamiliar smells.
She's pulled out of that reverie when Nanami squeezes her, and Trish lets a hand trail from Nanami's back, and along her elbow, until the nymph is back in her spot on the other side of the couch.
As for what she says...it's true, but it's always more complicated than that. It does help to enjoy something closer to her proper body though, instead of the façade crafted for her by the fog. It's the closest to correct she can be when it comes to refusing to let Ryslig set a proper foot in her heart.]
Mm. Being able to stay out of the bear body for a little while, especially whenever I choose...it's nice.
[It's freeing, in more ways than she can express.
Trish settles comfortably against the couch.]
That being said...I think you have the capacity to be more comfortable with yourself than I do even with this ability.
I'm curious to see where you end up. I'm excited to meet the you that you've got the potential to be.
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-06 10:45 am (UTC)Trish always knows what to say to lift her up. She's deeply thoughtful; one of the most supportive friends that Nanami has, which is saying something. ]
Me too... I don't really know who that is yet, but... I want to find out. [ Her eyes practically glow - not quite like they did in Felfri, but there's an excited light in them. ] I want to figure out which self to be... there's just so many more options than I thought there would be!
[ An echo to conversations she's had on the network under an anonymous handle - but it's Trish, so it's not really a big deal to say that sort of thing, right? ]
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