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[waitingforplayer2]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, CHIAKI NANAMI.

FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE XXX.XXX.XXX.XXX

*** galagamer has joined XXX.XXX.XXX.XXX
<galagamer> This is Chiaki Nanami.
<galagamer> I'll get back to you as soon as I can!

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[waitingforplayer2]

Hey, hey...

[ She picks up the mugs and walks them over to the table - not flying, because that wouldn't be stable enough. Sits down on the couch next to him, and places two gentle left hands on his back. ]

The point is that-- I still love them, with my whole heart. Just like I love you too. I can't change that about me, Ryou-kun. It's part of who I am.

[ She gathers the trembling shade into a six-armed hug. He's hurting so much, isn't he? She wishes she could help soothe that pain. ]

I can't stop loving you, even if I wanted to. And I don't want to stop. I'm not scared of you, Ryou-kun, even if you're hurting, or having a hard time.

[softspokenlandlord]

[Ryou truly is at the end of his rope here. No, he's long since reached it. Being tortured in Felfri, being told by the Fourth God that he deserved what he received there, finally letting Atem take revenge in his stead, because holding him back had made him miserable...and Ryou understood it. As a shade, with keyed up vengeance instincts, he understands the unyielding urge to right a wrong. It's something he didn't know before.

Something Atem did. Ryou thought he was being merciful.

Instead, letting Atem strike out at AM and then being concerned for him had led to him losing his love.

Because of this...he doesn't hug Nanami back. He stays where he's at, limp and useless, but as a result, he doesn't shove her away either.

And yet...]

You will. Eventually, you'll realize what I've made you do too. Then, you'll leave.

I h-hope...when you do go...it's not as a broken spirit...

[Ryou's tail curls around one of his legs, tight and uncomfortable, like a nervous snake.]

I'm a curse. I'm doomed to cause pain. What a terrible person to love.

[waitingforplayer2]

You're not a curse.

[ She says it gently, and hugs him tighter, running a hand through his hair. ]

You're not doomed, and you're not a terrible person. Bad things happen to you, but they happen to all of us... and you try so hard to be kind, and to help the ones you love...

You know I'm telling the truth, Ryou-kun... I couldn't lie if I wanted to, right now...

[softspokenlandlord]

[Ryou sobs, his shoulders hitching and shaking uncontrollably. He wants to believe her...he does. But despite her inability to lie, Nanami isn't being objective here. There's no lie, if you don't believe you're lying.

She's not lying.

She's just incorrect. He's sure of it.]

Bat things happen to me, all the time, enough that...that even the ones I love get hurt! My pain spreads...a-across my relationships. Atem...h-he's right. He should never have given up what he did...to help me.

I'm nothing but a hindrance.

[And yet, he finds himself burying his face into her shoulder, as best he can, and crying so hard he feels like he can't breathe.]

Hhh...h-he. He won't...ever take me back. His face...he looked s-so scared, and revolted...

I don't want to cause that, ever again...being kind isn't enough! Helping people i-isn't enough, if...they'll suffer because of me...instead of just this place.

[waitingforplayer2]

[ It tracks, with the mania she saw from Atem, that he hurt Ryou so badly. An uneasy pit forms in her stomach. What was the breaking point? Where did it all go wrong? What happened? They'd always seemed so happy together - well, except for that one time in the summer... ]

We don't know that people will suffer. [ It's what she told Atem, and it was just as true then. ] All we have to do... is, is take what comes, and deal with it together.

Even if-- even if Atem-kun never wants to see you again-- [ And she would have a talk with Atem if that was the case, she's sure of it-- ] I do. Your friends will, too, I think-- he's not your only friend, Ryou-kun.

[softspokenlandlord]

I've been trying for years to do that, to take it and deal with it...!!

[He shakes his head, biting back a pained wail at the confirmation

(she's not confirming it she's just talking back with you)

that Atem would never want to see him again.]

My friends...they're his friends too. They...they ought to just be his friend. He's stronger, better at this than I could ever be. He's had to help me with everything, there's nothing I've done on my own, ever...

[That...probably isn't true. But Ryou is distraught enough that he can't think of a single time Atem hasn't won the game for him right now.]

And with him, you...d-don't have to worry about being hurt because I'm nothing but bad luck...

[waitingforplayer2]

Being stronger or not isn't a reason to be friends with someone. [ She nuzzles against him gently as he sobs into her shoulder. Now he's just grasping for excuses, she thinks. ]

You were my friend, even when I had only just turned into a merperson... I didn't even have all my powers yet... and I still don't have powers from the Fog like you do...

pls excuse this nothingburger i will dialogue in the next one

[softspokenlandlord]

[He wants to keep trying, to find the one thing that'll stick and make Nanami push him away.

But the more she speaks--the more he speaks--the less he wants to fight anything anymore. So he doesn't respond to her, and instead cries pitifully like the useless monster he is, with clawed fingers curled against Nanami's back. There's nothing he can do...she won't give up on him, like he's given up on himself.

It's likely to be a minute before he can even compose himself. This time, the argument must have been much worse...]

eats the burger yum yum

[waitingforplayer2]

[ She's too practiced against this. She's seen this pattern too often; she loves her friends too much to let them do it. She never ever wants to make that mistake again.

So she holds onto him, stroking his hair gently; letting him cry as much as he needs to. She's here, and she isn't going anywhere. ]

[softspokenlandlord]

[It takes a while, and it's wholly unflattering how much Ryou basically crumples against her, despite being a much larger creature. He can't control himself, to the point that he sobs loudly, almost sounding as if he's trying to speak but being wholly unable to.

There's too much...far too much pain in his heart to articulate it at this point. But eventually, after what feels like forever

(or ten minutes, whichever feels less short)

Ryou finally pulls away, swiping at his face with a sleeve. He looks truly miserable and lost.]

Sorry, I...nnh, I just--I thought...things would be better, and then Felfri...happened...and I thought I was a better, st-stronger person. But I'm not, I keep messing up, and now...now it's really over, isn't it?

[His shoulders slump forward, and he stares down into his lap. This is pathetic. He's pathetic. He shouldn't be this low...not after the first time, right? Their bond...it's been shaken already. Maybe Atem really doesn't care about him anymore...and Ryou's the one to blame for it.]

[waitingforplayer2]

... I don't know... [ The truth is that she still doesn't know exactly what did happen between her two friends; only that they're both upset - Ryou says he's cursed, Atem says that nothing matters...

But she takes his big clawed hand regardless and squeezes it. ] Felfri was terrible... let's never go back, okay? I hated what it did to all of us...

cw suicidal thought

[softspokenlandlord]

I would never go back. Ever. I...I'd rather...

[He shakes his head, but the implication is there. He'd rather die than suffer anymore time in E+L's domain.

He curls his too-big fingers around her hand as well, looking up at her with puffy, gray-ringed eyes that are still damp with tears. He's a mess.]

I wish I understood.

[His friends? Atem?

...Anything.]

[waitingforplayer2]

[ She nods, and hugs him tightly again. ]

We'll figure it out together, okay? Just... I'm not going anywhere.

[ And that's the truth; she'll keep coming back, even if he wants otherwise. ]

... Is there anything I can get for you? You can stay here, if you like, there's extra rooms... and a portal back to the apartments, too, if you need anything there...

[softspokenlandlord]

No. I took my things. I just...want to be here for a little longer.

I'm...I'm tired.

[Crying is tiring. Being broken up with is tiring. Knowing that he's on this fucking peninsula simply to further the pain of others is tiring.

He needs a nap and he doesn't even realize the extent to which he needs one...]

[waitingforplayer2]

Of course. Take as long as you need.

... Hold on.

[ She extricates herself carefully from the hug; shrinks down and flits into the next room.

Just a few seconds later, she's walking back out at full size with an extra couple of blankets, and lays them on the couch. ]

You can nap here or in one of the rooms. The whole place-- it's yours, okay?

[ And she pulls him back into a hug, holding him close. ]

[softspokenlandlord]

[Ryou stays put, not even really shifting once Nanami's out of his grip. He's left to his thoughts as she fetches some blankets, though he does lift his head to look at her when she returns.]

...Okay.

[When Nanami hugs him, his arms wrap around her loosely, and his tail, which generally keeps to itself around anyone but Atem, curls around one of her ankles, as if for further support.

Then, the sheets she'd brough lift themselves up, and settle around the both of them. He doesn't want to break the silence. She might change her mind. She might leave...and he selfishly wants her to stay.

He could rest like this. He really could...]

[waitingforplayer2]

[ She holds him, and doesn't let go. She won't leave - not even if he falls asleep, or stays awake for hours.

She's his friend, and she's not leaving his side. Not until he tires of her, or needs to go somewhere else. ]

[softspokenlandlord]

[Ryou might have gone somewhere else before this point.

He wanted to. But now...he's not so sure about it. Not for a little while. He's selfish anyway, he knows he is, and that he's unforgivable for it. So, he stays curled up close to Nanami, until he does feel like going to sleep and forgetting all of the pain dancing around in his head, carving hateful, angry channels across his thoughts.

Quietly, as he starts to doze, he murmurs something that he might not have the mental bandwidth to remember later.]

Thank you...Chiaki.