IC Inbox

[waitingforplayer2]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, CHIAKI NANAMI.

FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE XXX.XXX.XXX.XXX

*** galagamer has joined XXX.XXX.XXX.XXX
<galagamer> This is Chiaki Nanami.
<galagamer> I'll get back to you as soon as I can!

Comments

[waitingforplayer2]

[ Her sympathetic and concerned gaze, when he shifts subjects, gives way to a more intent one. It's time to listen. She leans back on the couch, still playing with her fingers. Wishing she could do something to make him feel more comfortable. ]

Mm. What happened?

[softspokenlandlord]

[Ryou closes his eyes, take a long, deep breath...then exhales it out slowly before speaking again.]

In March...Atem and I took note that there was a business selling anti-monster security kits. Since I was bedridden recovering from the procedure that had saved me from the Krakaskron flowers, he did a lot of the early research. Once I was well enough...I did surveillance. It's easy as a shade, after all.

[He remembers going into the Illumination Industries building more than once, seeking out information, catching snippets of derisive discussions that slandered the general population and laughed at their misfortune.

His fingers clench harder, claws digging into skin and muscle, but not piercing. Not yet. Hopefully not at all.]

The people in that company, they were manufacturing substandard kits, selling them at top dollar because a scared person will do anything to protect themselves. But they kept the effective kits to themselves.

...The plan was to make them pay, in a way Atem is very good at. He...makes games for people who are bad. The kinds of games that test their heart. They're winnable, always. Atem isn't a cheater, and he's not unreasonably cruel.

[He pauses, his claws digging in harder. He's just laying the groundwork at this point, explaining things leading up to the broadcast, but it's important to do so. To defend his friends and their actions.

(not his never his)]

[waitingforplayer2]

[ I would figure out what it would take to get them to play, and offer them that, if they won...then make a game where their vices would work against them. Then, when they lost, or broke the rules...I'd get back what it was they took, set matters right, and they would suffer the penalty.

Her eyes widen a little. New context for Atem's games. Nothing she couldn't have guessed before, perhaps, but... a few extra details to flesh out the picture. ]

Winnable, if you're able to change your heart. [ She looks at Ryou. ] That's the trick, right? You have to know what you did wrong and change yourself for the better.

[softspokenlandlord]

[Nanami's words get Ryou's grip to loosen. Her understanding is...different. Strange.

Surprising.]

Y-yes. That's it exactly. A-and I think that if it weren't for a reason, we might have been able to do this quietly. That was the plan, initially. Before...well, before Maya suggested recording it, I think.

You see, Atem and I had been working towards growing with the Fog, for security. He, more than anyone, deserved the means by which to protect himself without having to worry about being hurt again. Atem has suffered so much..

[There's pain in Ryou's words, and his heart aches when he thinks about it. It's not just because he loves Atem so wholeheartedly, no. Not just that. If a friend had been tortured so frequently, he'd have felt similarly.

No, Ryou's love only made his feelings harder towards the sources of Atem's suffering. Hence...he had followed along on this pathway to power.

That's only half the story, of course, but it's the only half that matters. So long has he spent in Ryslig, that Ryou can see he has very little value. There are so many different versions of him that have existed in this place, how could he ever sum up to the value of someone else at this point? So, it's Atem he focuses on.]

In the end, when we went to put the men through their trial, Maya recorded the goings-on. We did it so that it could broadcast on human television, to disseminate fear. That's what She wants from us, you know? To spread fear in Her name. It was done in several parts, and warned for on the network, in case people would prefer not to see.

The Ring-Spirit showed how to disarm the useless kits, then Atem walked the board of the company in. Three men...because I...I had already killed their CEO.

[He doesn't explain himself for that. He just carries on.]

Atem explained the rules of their game, a game in which they were given the power to kill their partners for a pretty substantial reward. Atem...offered to buy them whatever they wanted from Mana within the range of sixty coins, as well as the ability to use him as a guinea pig to test their product further.

But before he could start the game, they all triggered the kill switches at once. They...h-hahaha...they were willing to kill each other out of greed.

[Ryou's jaw clenches, his claws dig into his arms, and this time, they do draw blood. This part...it turns his stomach just to think about. All of it, every single thing he's about to tell Nanami.]

I was so angry...that even though I knew, in the back of my mind, that Maya was recording it all...I went up to them and I gave them the penalty they deserved. I ate them. All three of them, because they were ready to eat their own kind up. The things they said...

[Ryou's voice breaks, and for a moment he doesn't sound like an adult, but like a lost, regretful child.]

They said...that...that the people they scammed of their money couldn't sue them if they were dead. They weren't human anymore...do you know the price I would pay to be human again? And they decided that being monsters was better. I'm not sorry for what I did...

[He's lying.]

Everyone who saw the broadcast...the monsters, they knew we were doing this to gain power from the Fog, because Atem told them so. And because of that, we were judged as true beasts. They were...very unkind. On that day, we were the villains. And they don't even understand why.

[waitingforplayer2]

[ She wants to listen evenly, and fairly, and hear out everything without giving away even the slightest bit of judgement.

But she can't help her eyes widening in horror, the more his story goes on. Whether it's from what Ryou and his friends did, or from what the humans did, she doesn't quite know as he's telling it - it's a gruesome tale.

I need to be better.
Better for what? For the people that tell us nobody deserves to die, but don't care about the lives they destroy just because they're not killing them?

It's impossible to miss the grief in Ryou's voice when he talks about eating the humans. It's impossible to hear how he reacted, and not remember her best friend, roaring with anger and destroying the TV producers with his enlarged fist.

Ryslig may change them all, but so do people who set out to hurt them. ]

But it's not that simple, is it? [ She squeezes the couch where she's been unknowingly gripping it - she realizes as she thinks that, even through her horror, she's frustrated on Ryou's behalf.

He is like the others - Mikan and Hinata and Nagito and all of them. She was right, she thinks. ]

Everything's complicated here. Everybody's trying their best. [ The number of attempts she's seen to change their fates - Dee's monster disguise, or Faramir's quest into the mountains - failures, yes, but sparks of hope still.

And with the number of ways the deck is stacked against everybody, human and monster alike - the transformations, the need to feed, even the trip into the TV world - with a game that's rigged from the start, it doesn't make sense to blame the losers.

Especially not somebody who was willing to tell her all this. Not even with glee and manic energy, like how Nagito might have talked with her when she knew him - but with regret and shame. ]

So... to call you the villains... I don't think that's very fair, Bakura-san. Not when...

[ Her face falls. What horrors await her at the halfway point of this month, she wonders, and the months to come. But there is one thing that is predictable, for every single monster here. ]

Not when all of us have to kill to survive. And not when humans can treat each other, and us, like that.

cw; oblique gore mention, torture, death, mind-control/possession, assisted murder tbh

[softspokenlandlord]

It's not even about killing to survive...there are monsters here that...that kill for sport, or use overly violent methods that don't have the decency of an out for a human to save themselves.

The truth is, monsters here choose to make a moral stand that suits them, but they don't even understand why this needed to happen. How could they understand, unless they knew us? And even then, some that did know us stepped away.

[Ryou sinks to the floor, his tail curling around his legs as his arms shift, to wrap around his abdomen rather than stay crossed. Blood seeps through fur where he's claws have pricked, but he doesn't care.]

I don't think all humans are monsters. But I can't prioritize them over monsters, because they can die, and their suffering stops. When we die, we come back for more. And when you're not a high-level fog follower, it's so easy to die.

I've died twice here, three if you count dying to become a vampire when my copy tried to weaken me, f-four if you count his death, which I have the memories of. Those first two deaths, they're free. H-hahah...hahaha...can you believe that? We're expected to perish so frequently that we get 2 free lives...and then the rest lose us memories. I haven't lost a memory yet.

Atem has. He has died three times where it counts. His first, albeit uncounted, death...was caused by a monster here, through torture. He was tortured for days, just to serve some purpose related to the Fourth God, although no one blames Elias for that, why would they? The point is, just because it wasn't towards some predetermined counter, doesn't mean it didn't have an effect.

His first true death...he...he had to die, it was the only way the others and I could free him from the parasite infesting his mind. Mukuro, Horatio, Celeste and Mukuro...we had to dig it out of him...

[He has to stop there, because he remembers having his shade claws buried deep into Atem's abdomen, it wasn't what he wanted to do, but the parasite needed to come out...]

[waitingforplayer2]

[ When Ryou sinks to the ground, Nanami jumps to her feet and runs around the table to his side. There's some napkins on the table, left over from some prior meal - she grabs them and presses them on the wound, mopping up some of the blood and putting pressure on the wound.

The way death works here... she's gathered bits and pieces, but not heard it told this frankly, nor this viscerally. It feels like parts of her are freezing up or going numb, like she can't quite believe what she's hearing - but she listens. She listens to the horrors that have happened to Ryou and Atem and their friends, to the things that have been done to them. She can't quite process the emotions she's feeling, but there's an energy in her that... scares her. Something powerful, and angry.

She clamps it down, focuses on him, and tending to his wound. ]

And... the others?

cw; suicide, death, burn mention, bad surgery mention

[softspokenlandlord]

[Ryou's ears prick up when Nanami moves close to tend to his cuts...but they lower again soon enough. Talking about these kinds of things...they hurt. He wishes he could have done better.

But he won't push her away, and he does appreciate that she's dabbing at the cuts he's created.]

The other deaths...? I...I just know that he fought AM and rather than lose and suffer a worse fate...Atem took his life. He's a strategist, and he chose the best move. I was upset, but...I couldn't stay that way, not when I knew the reason he even tried to fight AM in the first place.

[Ryou glances down, away from Nanami.]

He did it for me. Because AM...hurt me. He burned me while I was defenseless, just because he could, and Atem wanted to pay it back.

[Ryou's burn scars seem to stand out more clearly after that, at least to him. the gnarled skin of his right forearm, the furless plane of wrinkled flesh along his right foot...and though no one can see it, the worst of the lot, seared into his thigh.]

I could have done better by Atem, if I was stronger. If I weren't such a weak, flimsy shade, then I could have prevented his suffering any further. But I was weak...so when the next awful thing happened to him, all I could do was lose and die against the enemy, then come back to see him lost and alone.

If I was strong, I wouldn't have died trying to stop that manticore taking him and cutting him open, but I'm just. I'm...not enough.

[He shakes his head, softly, then quietly murmurs the next sentence.]

That's why I needed Her help.

[waitingforplayer2]

[ She holds the napkins on his arm, to stop the bleeding. When he gets to another stopping point, she speaks quietly. ]

So you did what you did to protect each other. [ And that's the power of the Fog... she silently makes a note of that. ]

What did She do for you?

[softspokenlandlord]

[Ryou stiffens a little when Nanami asks that. It's...hard for him to answer, without tipping his hand. And he has been hiding his powers from people, other than a handful of them.

He's already exercising a great deal of trust in telling her this much, but...Ryou has limitations to how freely he can speak, even now.]

She gave me the power I need to protect myself and others. That's all anyone needs to know at this point. I'm sorry, but...I don't want to talk about that. All I know is that with Her power, I can keep from dying so easily next time.

I can't afford to lose a memory. That one memory could take something very important from me...something I can never fix, and wouldn't even know to regret.

[Ryou's tail uncoils from around his feet, then brushes against Nanami's ankles.]

Thank you...f-for listening. But as I said...what I've done, killing those men in service of strengthening myself and appeasing the Fog, it has reflected poorly on me. The things I told people to draw anger from the others hasn't helped either. Knowing all that, you should handle our acquaintanceship with discretion.

I also made humans more wary around monsters, which makes things hard for others, and likely brings a bad reputation to the shade population.

[waitingforplayer2]

[ Something else clicks in her head. ] Oh, that's what that was about! Hinata mentioned the humans were upset, when I first arrived. [ They'd all been pretty protective of the arcade, too.

She's been crouching next to him, but now she rocks backwards to sit down - the blood flow's pretty much stopped now, anyway. ]

Bakura-san... [ She knows what she wants, but it's only fair to ask. ]

If I wanted to be your friend anyway... would that be alright with you?

[softspokenlandlord]

[Ryou's silent for a moment, after she asks that. He falls back to sit as well, though for him, it looks silly. His feet are up now, the pink pads revealed, and his arms fall between his legs. He's a big, dumfounded wolf sitting without a word to say.

How does he answer that? How should he answer it?

...He knows how he wants to.]

Miss Nanami...I...

[His tail tip twitches a bit. Almost...maybe...just maybe, a wag?]

If you want to be friends, I wouldn't say no. If after everything that I said, you think that I'm worthy, then...

[Thump.

It is a wag. One single wag.]

Thank you...

[waitingforplayer2]

It's not about being worthy or not, I think...

[ The wag brings a careful smile to her face, at least. She's relieved he answered that way. ]

I don't think... worthiness is a really good way of deciding whether to be friends with someone. [ In Ryslig, or elsewhere - from what she's heard, her friends did some pretty terrible things back home. And so has she, here, and she'll do even more terrible things soon, probably. She knows she can. She knows she'll have to. So she knows she will. ]

It's just something I want. That's all, really. [ Because she worries about him. Because she sees bits of herself and her friends in him. Because she wants him to be okay.

Because he trusted her. ]

If that's okay, then I'm the one who should be thanking you, really.

[softspokenlandlord]

Maybe not. But people don't all feel like you.

[Ryou hesitates with the next part. He doesn't want to make it personal, because he, personally, isn't nearly as important as anyone else. He doesn't want pity. But...Nanami wanted to know about him. She wanted to see him.]

...It's hard to explain that dying is scary to anyone who hasn't died here. And it's hard to explain how seeing someone you love be in so much pain and experience uncertainty he should never experience can be so painful.

[He glances down, at his open palms. The tips of his fingers curl inward, making his claws look threatening.]

They can't understand either...why I don't want to be a shade.

[He's scared, and it shows in his eyes, in the way his ears are pinned back to his head and how his shoulders are bristling. He's afraid that as soon as the month's over, the Fog will stabilize and he'll go back to being a shade, with all the terrible, dark thoughts that make him so angry.]

So, they're angry about what I did. And they don't want to know why I did it, because they can't see the path that awaits them.

[waitingforplayer2]

[ She doesn't want to make it about her. She wants to listen to him.

But she can't help the way her gaze drops, and her hands tremble. ]

I know what you mean. [ And she'll leave it at that, for now. She squeezes her eyes shut, trying to get the cheshire grin out of her mind.

Reminds herself that she's stronger now, she wouldn't fall to her again. She thinks. ]

Can you ask Mana? If she lets you change for a little... she can let you change for good too, can't she?

[softspokenlandlord]

[For how self-involved Ryou seems to be in his own thoughts, he does catch a little of Nanami's reaction.

...He will remember that.

But for now, he keeps on their current subject.]

I'm...I'm sure she can. I haven't asked her yet what the price would be, because I still have other things that I need to do. I have a feeling it would be many more coins than I have...so I'm grateful to the Fog for this form. At least for now. It's a welcome break.

[He glances at Nanami, one ear flicking, but ultimately they both relax. He reaches a hand out, gently places his padded palm and fingers on her shoulder, then smiles a little.]

I really can't thank you enough for listening to me. I think...perhaps we can talk about something less sad, right? You've heard more than enough, and if you want to give me a chance, then the least I can do is make sure it isn't all terribly depressing. Right?

[waitingforplayer2]

If I can help, I will.

[ She's already found a few coins, after her first month here - and she doesn't have any plans to use them.

... Probably.

But the change in subject relaxes her too. She gets up to make them some tea, at the food counter just next to the board game corner. ]

I don't think you're depressing. [ It's been interesting, even if the subject matter has been sad, and at times gruesome. She puts the kettle on and leans over the counter so she can still see him while the water comes to a boil. ]

Do you have any favorite games?

[softspokenlandlord]

[Ryou takes a little longer to get to his feet, drawing his hand back so that he can use it to push himself up, before both arms cross protectively across his chest. He's not worried about her anymore, but he still has guarded body language.

It's...just a bit of a habit, honestly.]

It's alright, you don't have to say something that isn't entirely true.

[That's all he says about her insisting he's not depression, he won't push the matter past that.]

Favorite games...? Any board game, honestly. I love board games, and dice games, but mostly anything that has a board is where I excel. My favorite is a tabletop RPG, however, by the name of Monster World.

[...There. There's a bit of confidence.]

[waitingforplayer2]

A tabletop game? [ That really peaks her interest. While she prepares their mugs, she thinks. ]

I don't have that one here, but we have a lot of board games. [ She glances over at the corner where they've been sitting. ] Do you wanna play something together? I love all kinds of games, really.

[softspokenlandlord]

Any game you like is fine. I'm happy to play whatever you like.

[His tail wags once, twice...and knocks over something small, because it's massive. He startles, forcing it to wrap around his leg while he looks over his shoulder.]

Ah! I-I'm sorry about that. Sometimes it has a mind of its own...

[waitingforplayer2]

[ She smiles and brings him a mug, then starts setting up a shogi board. ]

It's okay! So do my tentacles. [ The ones on her head are idly curling around each other as they speak. ]

[softspokenlandlord]

Your tentacles seem quite tame in comparison. Actually...they look rather cute!

[Ryou doesn't even put much thought to the fact that he's complimenting a lady's appearance. It's true, isn't it? Watching the tips of her hair-tentacles undulate, they really do look cute. It reminds him of Atem's hair-snakes, from way back when.

Either way, he takes the mug happily, sips at his drink, and lets Nanami set up the board. After what they had spoken of...a game is a welcome change of pace. He'll enjoy sharing it with a new friend, someone he can trust.

Someone...who had trusted him first.]